Postcards from a College Freshman

Hi Mom and Dad,

Just writing to check in with you guys.  I can't believe my first semester at college is almost over.  It has flown by!  NYU is amazing, I am so glad I decided to go early decision here.  I know you were stressed out about me living in New York all by myself, but it has been an amazing experience already.  I literally see something new everyday.  Like today, I was walking in SOHO (for next parents weekend, try to call it How-ston St.  You guys are totally embarrassing) and I'm pretty sure I saw Miranda from Sex and the City. I totally want to be in that movie.  This girl I have class with- Nicole, the super skinny girl from New Jersey I mentioned last letter- hooked up with one of the extras at this sketchy bar, so she says she can get me on set one day.  OMG, that would be amazing!

Anyway, gotta run.  Give Cassidy a big hug for me and tell her that her big sister misses her and she needs to get down here for a visit.  TTYL XOXO :)

Love,

Amber 

Going All the Way with Mass Effect

The reviews are out for BioWare's first effort on the Xbox 360, Mass Effect.  Having played the game, I have to agree with the majority of them.  This game is the tits.  Buy it.  In lieu of a full review, I'd prefer to take a trip down memory lane, then try to relate that fantastical sojourn to the game in a comedic way.  Whose with me?  No takers?  Fine, whatever, I'll do this myself.  It's my blog anyway.  Jerks.

Remember the thrill of waking up on Christmas morning when you were younger?  It was an entirely unique feeling: the relief that the holiday had finally arrived, the rush of adrenaline as you looked under the tree for the first time and the complete satisfaction after opening up each present, knowing full well that you just hauled in a shitload of stuff you didn't deserve.

Fast forward to the year 2007.  You've started Mass Effect and it is coming along nicely.  Then, all of a sudden, this happens:

You just bagged your first blue alien chick.  A tip of the cap to you, sir.  All the emotions you felt during Christmas morning are rushing back to you.  The wait is over.  Instead of presents, you get the rush from a trans-species plow session.  The best part: you know full well you don't deserve it, you dick.  It's like Christmas all over again, except you don't have to worry about Uncle Stan coming over and trying to touch your naughty parts.

Even in video game form, trying to manipulate women is awesome.  Finally, a game that appeals not only to the RPG fanboy inside me, but also the little misogynistic bastard that lives in the far recesses of my mind and only comes out after forceful coaxing from his good friend, alcohol.  (J/k baby, I love you so much!)

Mass Effect combines great gameplay, an enjoyable storyline and, in addition to nailing an alien prostitute- sorry, consort- the opportunity to spit game at multiple characters.  Thank you, BioWare, for a job well done.