Time for the third installment of the Clairvoyance and honestly, I'm finding out that maybe the whole prognostication business is a little more difficult than I expected. Hat tips to all the pundits around the world. It is really difficult to make predictions and then radically alter your position when the opposite outcome occurs. Where is the g'd credibility these days? I mean, I expect it from the politicians, but not from the sports analyst. I'm looking at you Steve Phillips. I won't stand for waffling, but more importantly, I won't stand for absolute buffoonery.
It's about time that the fans demand more from their analysts. It won't be easy, but someone needs to step up to the plate/table/whatever cliche you desire, and get the ball rolling. Since I don't think any of the big wigs at ESPN are willing to jeopardize their perch atop the world of sports, I guess it's up to me to start this revolution. The claim: if I don't go over .500 with this weekends picks, I will immolate myself. On second thought, scratch that. A wee bit too extreme. Here are the new terms, if I suffer through a sub-.500 weekend, I will stick my hand in the ceiling fan. That sounds reasonable. Okay, let's check out the slate of games:
Liverpool vs Portsmouth - Fucking Liverpool. 2 weeks, 2 picks, 2 losses. Fuck that. I'm avoiding this like a bloody tampon infested with AIDS, syphilis, the ebola virus and pickles. Let's move on before I punch myself in the thigh out of frustration.
NY Giants vs Dwindling Playoff Aspirations - How confident would you be if your playoff hopes rested on the shoulder of this individual?:
That was a rhetorical question. At best, the Giants are backing into the playoffs then losing on the road in the first round by two touchdowns. At worst, New York is staring at another pathetic late season collapse.Prediction: Dwindling Playoff Aspirations in an overwhelming victory over the G-Men.
Holiday Shopping vs Me - I'll admit it, I'm usually the underdog in this match-up. The routine used to go like this: Wake up on December 23/24 with the sudden realization that Christmas was only a couple of days away. Rush down to the local mall. Wander aimlessly for six hours hoping that inspiration would strike. When inspiration inevitably failed to arrive, hit up the same places I bought presents at last year and hope to not buy the same things. Leave mall in a cold sweat, dreading the opening of presents.
Well this year I smartened up. Amazon.com = my dojo. So fuck you mall. I don't need you anymore. I'm done with your nonsense.
Prediction: I'm finished with my shopping. I win! Victory! Huzzah!
3 comments:
Where's the prediction for your Christmas gifts?
I predict you'll get a funny pair of pants.
yes, can't wait for the pants. ***implied sarcasm
correction, a great pair of pants
Post a Comment