Monday Morning QB - 2009 Preview

For many football fans, Peter King's Monday Morning QB is required reading. The comprehensive column examines what just happened the preceding day in the NFL with interesting anecdotes and a level of access to players, coaches and officials that is unparalleled throughout the league. But little do people know the amount of research and hard work that goes into each column. The finished result is always so polished that it's hard to comprehend the dedication it requires to publish original material each week. So it comes as no surprise that Mr. King has already gotten a head start on his 2009 season preview MMQB. Through some cosmic fluke CBSVG has acquired it. Expect to see something similar to this around the middle of training camp.

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Patriots to rebound on rebuilt knee and confidence by Peter King

FOXBORO -- Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots.

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Bill Belichick is a genius. Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots.

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Jerry Jones and Wade Phillips can no longer co-exist, though Belichick could figure out a way to make this relationship work. And cure super-AIDS.

The Fine Fifteen
1. Patriots
2. Patriots
3. Patriots
4. Pats
5. Belichick
6. Colts
7. Patriots
8. 2004 Patriots
9. Amanda Belichick
10. Peyton Manning
11. Barack Obama
12. Pats
13. Giants
14. Steelers
15. Colts..er, Patriots

Quote of the Week I
"Peter, get the hell out of here, this is my honeymoon!"
--Patriots starting QB Tom Brady after finding me underneath the bed of his hotel room in St. Barts during his honeymoon.

Quote of the Week II
"Seriously, get out of here. I'm calling security. This is in direct violation of your restraining order and I really don't want to have to press charges this time."
--Patriots starting QB Tom Brady ushering me out of the honeymoon suite.

Quote of the Week III
"Tom is a winner. I don't think anyone can argue that at this point. But does he have the competitive desire to come back from a serious injury, rehab it and basically relearn all the footwork necessary to play QB at this level? We'll see."
--Patriots backup QB Matt Cassel to local Boston media on why there should be a QB competition in training camp. These were his last words as a violent fan stormed the press conference and decapitated Cassel with a machete.

Stat of the Week
Times that major news outlets have reported that Brett Favre has retired only to come back to prove he can still play THIS YEAR vs times that major news outlets have reportedthat Brett Favre has retired only to come back to prove he can still play LAST YEAR

What I Learned About Football This Week That I Didn't Know Last Week
Rehabbing a catastrophic knee injury is serious work. I know, because I spent every waking second of the offseason stalking...er speaking with Tom Brady about all the time and effort he was putting into making his surgically repaired knee right. There's stretching, weight lifting, pool workouts, intense sex sessions, conditioning, attending fashion shows, photo shoots. All of this and still no guarantee that the knee is fully healed. Who knew?

Factoid of the Week that May Only Interest Me
*Add asinine story about daughters at later date*

Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week
Any travel to and from Montclair, New Jersey, even if to get a cup of coffee from Starbucks, is complete misery. Stay away, far away. Flying sucks, taking trains suck, driving sucks.

Ten Things I Think I Think
1. I think that if Tom Brady needed any sort of organ transplant, I would jump to the front of the line and offer him whatever he needed.

2. It's been a couple of years since I joined the NBC Football Night in America crew and here's what I've noticed:
a. I've never said this, and it will surprise a lot of people, but I think Jerome Bettis smells better than Tiki Barber.
b. If Keith Olbermann and Bob Costas had a contest to see who could be the smuggest person on television, I think the world would explode.
c. I think that John Madden is going to eventually die in an horrific Ace hardware accident.

3. I think that it's about time to put Al Davis in some sort of nursing home. Sources tell me that he can no longer control his bowel movements.

4. I think that Jerry Jones is one cool dude. Thanks for always having popcorn on hand, Jerry!

5. I think that if I was going to start a team from scratch, I'd just clone the Patriots. That way, my team would be amazing and I wouldn't have to take anything away from the already awesome Pats team.

6. I think it's time we let Bill Belichick run this country. I mean, it can't get any worse, can it? The man is a proven winner and won't back down from any challenges. And I just like the thought of the commander in chief wearing a hoodie that looks like it was stolen off of a dead hobo.

7. I think that Cris Collinsworth eats too much garlic. There, I said it.

8. I think that somewhere, deep in the Mississippi forest, Brett Favre is sitting on a log, eating gator jerky and thinking to himself, "Damn, I should have done this a while ago." He then throws an interception to a cyruss tree.

9. I think Starbucks is making a terrible decision by shutting down so many stores. If I have to walk farther than 100 yards to get a venti soy latte with a dash of vanilla (w/ whipped cream and cinammon) someone is getting an angry letter.

10. I think Steelers over the Cards, 27-13.