Friday Afternoon Clairvoyance with Sagacious Fletchinator

I'm a man who respects traditions.  A football game for a trophy?  Love that shit.  Walking around Dublin on Bloomsday?  Awesome.  Freshman hazing?  
God, I beat off to that at least twice a week.

But I digress.  CBSVG has been up for about two weeks and I think it's about time that we get the tradition ball rolling here.  And what better way to start than with a cliched look at the games this weekend that are most appealing to me (go start your own blog if you need Dolphins vs Bills coverage), peppered with some droll humor to ease it down your esophagus. 

Time to fire this bitch up.  

Here is is, the premiere of Friday Afternoon Clairvoyance:

Reading vs Liverpool: The Reds have been red-hot (that was an example of droll humor, laugh or die) of late and that streak looks to continue as they head into the Madejski stadium to play Reading.  Fernando Torres leads Liverpool in league goals (6) and Fletchinator boners induced (312).  Hold on.

Okay, up to 313 now.  

Prediction: Liverpool pick up another big win.  Final score: 3-0.

Broncos vs Chiefs: I haven't been this disinterested in a Broncos season in a long time.  The main reason being that they suck donkey balls.  Their defense is atrocious, Travis Henry has been a nightmare and Invesco Field is apparently more hospitable than Grandma's house on Thanksgiving.  Fuck.  It really chaps my ass to think about this season.  I really thought that the team was going places.  Maybe not Super Bowl contender just yet, but with the schedule they had this season, they should have won the AFC West.  This team has gone downhill faster than a Britney Spears/Lindsay Lohan/Tara Reid conglomerate uber-skank.  I don't even care that Gus Johnson is calling this game.  It's in Denver, but I have no confidence in Denver doing anything worthwhile.  

Prediction: Broncos somehow find a new way to lose (halftime vasectomies?) and the Chiefs leave Denver 24-20 victors.

UConn Men's BB vs Exams: Fuck Syracuse, Georgetown and Villanova.  This is the Huskies biggest challenge of the year.  For the love of Christ, can you imagine Hasheem Thabeet taking an econ exam?  How often do you think Doug "The Thug" Wiggins (nickname mine and should not be taken as any sort of derogatory comment, it just rhymes and sounds catchy) goes to his Art History class?  Do you think he could tell me the difference between dadaism and surrealism?  I'm nervous.

Prediction: Huskies, with some outside help, squeak out a close win.

'72 Dolphins Players vs Patriots Fans: The big debate going into this weekend's Steelers/Pats game is not whether or not the Patriots are going to lose- they're not- but who are the bigger douches: '72 Dolphins players or '07 Patriots fans.  Right now, I'm leaning towards '72 Dolphins, spearheaded by Mercury Morris.  Please someone put an end to this.  

Prediction: '72 Dolphins Players continue their douchebaggery as Pats fans play the "One game at a time card."

Cult of Personality (Expert) vs Me: Ahh, Guitar Hero 3.  You fickle bitch.  I know what you're trying to do.  You want me to smash my guitar again.  You offer me this song from one hit wonders, Living Colour, and make it fairly simple for the first three quarters.  Just as I start to feel confident that I can beat the song, you destroy my wrist and fingers with an insane solo.  I'm on to you.  I've been practicing.  I'm going to fuck you up big time this weekend.  Or smash my guitar.

That wraps up the first edition of the FAC.  Enjoy your weekend.