Things To Do This Weekend

No EPL this weekend thanks to those communists at FIFA and their stupid World Cup qualifiers. If I had my way, admission to the World Cup would rely entirely on which country has the hottest chicks (in the case of a tie, two hot chicks must battle in a tub of KY Jelly until their clothes fall off and they start making out. Then a winner will be chosen by random drawing.)

Luckily, there's a lot of other shit going on this weekend. Of course, you could just stay home and stare at pictures of Aubrey O'Day all day.
I'm not sure who or what Danity Kane is, but apparently this chick is involved. So that's good enough in my book.

So maybe you're not a perverted shut-in with an internet connection. Fear not, there are some other things going on. Other sporting events of note:

A Shitload of College Football - Highlights include LSU vs Florida and Texas vs Oklahoma. Or my favorite matchup: Poon of the SEC vs Every Day Should be Saturday.

Not So Much NFL - Living in New York, you get the shaft when either the Jets or Giants play Monday night or have a bye. It just so happens that the G-Men take on the Cleveland Swollen Testicles on Monday and fuck over everyone else who has cable in the country's largest city. We have the Jets at 1pm then Cowboys/Cardinals at 4pm. Great. Really pumped for that slate. Look forward to the day when the NFL stops doing its Spielberg/Lucas raping Indy impression to its fans that don't have DirecTV.

LCS - Dear Red Sox charter plane captain,
Feel free to fly into a mountain on the way back from Tampa Bay. You will be doing everyone a favor. Do your civic duty. That is all.

Beer - I've said it before, and I'll say it again, when beer is involved there are no losers.
Enjoy the next two days. And if you're one of the lucky SOBs with Monday off, I hope you step on a tack. I'm not bitter or anything.