The Remember Laughter Register Re-post

My two loyal readers are always telling me that I should post my fantasy football e-newsletter up on CBSVG. Because I have nothing else for today, why not? Please keep in mind that this is a family publication and does not feature kid-unfriendly language like "cock" or "yabbos." Or any pictures of hot chicks. That feature has yet to be introduced. All scoring and player valuation comes from the PremierLeague.com fantasy game. Please disregard all spelling and grammatical errors. I'm lazy.

The Remember Laughter Register

Volume XV, 12/19/08

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! That’s a theme that has ongoing in the Register for the past couple of weeks, but it cannot be stressed enough. Now is the time that teams often make a move in the standings and the same opportunity is there for every fantasy owner, as well. Teams will be playing as many as four games between now and the first weekend of January. Expect changes at the top and bottom of the league. Well, maybe not at the bottom. West Brom sort of has that spot locked up for the time being. Be bold. Use that wildcard if it is still available. Optimize lineups and pay attention to who is playing and who is out. EPL managers will be busy spending this holiday season strategizing the best way to make the most out of this condensed schedule. Wise fantasy owners would do the same. So put down that egg nog, throw away the Xmas cards and forget to tip the mailman. There are more important things at stake here.


Star of the Week – Antonio Valencia, Wigan Athletic

It was quite a week for Steve Bruce’s highly sought after midfielder. Arguably Wigan’s best player this season, Valencia drove the final nails into Paul Ince’s managerial career at Blackburn with an inspired display during his team’s 3-0 victory. He had a part in each of the goals, tallying two assists and bagging one goal and also picked up clean sheet and bonus points. All told, Valencia was the top point getter in fantasy last week and has been rock solid all season. Wigan owes a lot to the midfielder and will be wise to hold off the advances of bigger clubs looking to secure his services.

Honorable mention: Steven Gerrard, Heurelho Gomes, Gabriel Agbonlahor


Scalawag of the Week – Paul Ince, Blackburn Rovers

No doubt that heads are bowed in solemn morning for the passing of one of the most inept managers in the Prem. Perhaps that is unfair to Ince, but recent form indicates that he struggled mightily to handle the pressures of the top flight. A winless run that reached double digits ultimately doomed Ince, but one could argue that given a team stripped of its most influential player (David Bentley) and one of the best keepers in the league (Brad Friedel), he never really had a chance. Things are pretty bleak right now for the Lancashire club and the winter months will prove to be even crueler unless Sam Allardyce can make an immediate impact for a team teetering on the edge of the relegation point of no return.

Dishonorable mention: Kevin Davies, Dmitar Berbatov, Tony Adams


Through the Looking Glass – Next Week’s Fixtures (Deadline to make transfers is 20 December 6:30am EST)

Blackburn v Stoke City
Bolton v Portsmouth
Fulham v Middlesbrough
Hull City v Sunderland
West Ham v Aston Villa
West Brom v Man City
Newcastle v Tottenham
Arsenal v Liverpool
Everton v Chelsea


Keep an Eye On – Nemanja Vidic, Manchester United, $7.1 million

A poor man’s John Terry, Vidic is a towering presence in both boxes. Guaranteed a start no matter what the circumstance, Vidic racks up clean sheets like a street sweeper cleaning up a dirty New York City road. Much to the delight of owners around the world, the big man will also bulge the old onion bag a handful of times throughout the season, either from corners or other set pieces. Essentially you are getting the exact same player as Terry, at about $.5m less, without the crying and missing crucial penalty kicks. There’s no downside here, really.


Under the Radar – Antonio Valencia, Wigan Athletic, $6.1 million

Star of the week gets the nod for Under the Radar. Even without Amr Zaki, Wigan maintained its mid-table position thanks in large part to Valencia. Expect a big rise in value for Valencia in the coming weeks. Expect more points from Valencia in the coming weeks. Expect teams like Liverpool and Manchester United to inquire about how much Valencia costs in coming weeks. Much like Charles’s Law, as Valencia’s renown continues to increase around the league, expect the price to keep rising in fantasy football.


Link-o-the-Week

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