Ever want something so badly that it actually pains you? That's how I felt about Lindsay Lohan's yabbos. The yearning and the longing just to get a glance at those immaculate funbags was almost impossible to control. There was the knowledge lurking in the darkest corners of my mind telling me that it was possible that I might die without getting what measly photo spread. Today, I got what I have been waiting for, ever so patiently. Today, Lindsay Lohan appeared topless on the Interwebs.
The epicenter of this intense desire is easily traceable: Mean Girls.
This was the pinnacle of Lohan's hotness, the zenith of her jailbait epoch. Since that era-defining performance, she has undergone a steady decline into Hilton-esque sluttiness and boasts a recent filmography so dreadful and obscure that it would make Tara Reid blush. So coming off a string of poor decisions (3 different Italian dudes in one weekend and failing to nab Vincent Chase after lustfully throwing herself at him), it should come as no surprise that Lohan has released the hounds.
But here is the thing: I don't really care anymore. I've seen enough nip slips and roast beefy cooch shots from Lohan. Yes, this is a nice departure from the paparazzi upskits and grainy party shots, but let's be honest here: this reeks of desperation. We've now seen Lohan's final play of the cards. It just kind of sucks when you're 22 and just used the final trick up your sleeve.
This all brings me back to my original point: this is something that I wanted so badly. I'd stay up nights thinking about gazing upon Lohan's wondrous sweater cannons. Now I have what I've always wanted and I couldn't care less. Kind of ruins the moment.
Damn you, Interwebs! This was supposed to be my day!
(Photo credit - TheSuperficial.com)
7 comments:
Now all she can do is attempt to leech on to some old fatcat and use him for his vast cache of money. She should start doing this now because as she continues to age and meander down this self-destructive path she is currently on, the list of potential suitors will rapidly dwindle down until there are none willing to venture into the infected cavern she calls her vageen.
there will always be those willing to venture into the fiery depths of her ax wound.
Yes you're right... Matty B has always been the adventurous type. He will always be willing to explore the mysteries and wonders...
Is it weird that you guys live in the same apartment and you communicate through a comment board on one of your blogs?
Yeah but I live upstairs. He lives downstairs.
why me?
because you go by the un-hip tag, Matty B.
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