June was an unbelievable month. A lot of shit went down. There was a Vegas trip that left me broken and physically battered...but was one of the best weekends of my life. It was three days of gambling, topless women and wanton consumption of alcohol that might never be topped by another human being in the the remaining years that Earth still exists. So God, feel free to take me now. Check that...take one of the other degenerates that went with me. They deserve it more.
If that wasn't kick ass enough, Euro 2008 also transpired. Lo and behold, the team I wanted to win actually won and one of my favorite players scored the deciding goal in the final. All hail Nando Torres and his Spanish brethren. Welcome our new soccer overlords by offering the finest sangria and paella in all the land.
Other great things that happened in June:
my $600 rebate check came in the mail and went directly in my bank account to refill the coffers after the debilitating Vegas trip.
the Yankees started to play some decent ball, rattling off eight wins in a row.
Cure concert at MSG. One of the best shows I've ever been to. Robert Smith still kicks ass. And continues to look like Death rolled over. Good times.
Thanks to the Euro 2008 previews, and the pictures of the hot chicks on the site, there was unprecedented traffic to CBSVG. Over 250 uniques a day for over a week! Booyah. Take that comScore. It was fun being a internet phenomenon for a few days. Loyal readers feel free to return at any point.
That's four bullet points for one month. Pretty good shit. July, you have a lot to live up to. Let me down and there are only 11 months next year. I'm cutting you out of the rotation.
It always struck me as odd why Barry Melrose never got another coaching chance in the NHL after being fired by the Los Angeles Kings. Now, that is something I don't have to wonder about anymore, as the dapper Canandian will take over the Tampa Bay Lightning next season. Good for him. I wish him nothing but the best in his next endeavor. Why is that? Because the guy is fucking awesome. Read on.
Little known secret about the Fletchinator: I spent a good 18 months as a production assistant working at the Worldwide Leader in Sports, ESPN. If you are fortunate enough to hear me bitch about it now, you quickly realize that for the better part of that year and a half, I was displeased with my work/life balance and grew increasingly resentful towards my employer. To this day, I refuse to watch Sportscenter and any other studio show on the network, mainly out of spite. But, despite the many, many issues I have with how PAs are treated there, it wasn't all bad. For example: on a couple of occasions, I was lucky enough to put together "Barry's Best," a quick recap of the best goal, hit and save from that night's NHL action. Not only did this mean getting out of having to deal with a NBA game, it also presented me the opportunity to discuss hockey with one of the network's great treasures: Barry Melrose.
The dude is an absolute pro on camera and a pleasure to work with. As the first set of games were winding down, I would approach Barry and pick his brain on what he had seen so far. He would be located in the conference room, usually alone, with seven or eight different games on at once. Slightly intimidated at first, I approached with some trepidation. But "Coach" (that's what the PAs affectionately called him) was always welcoming and ready to hear what I had to offer. We would discuss the best plays of the night and come to a consensus on what would go into the Best; most of the time, I would defer to him, but on the off-chance that he missed something, he was willing to include one of my selections instead of his own. It was never about the facetime or the notoriety with Barry, it was about getting the best hockey into the show. Having to deal with the enlarged egos of former players and various talking heads most of the time, it was a refreshing change. He was, hands down, the best analyst across the entire network.
I could wax nostalgic about Barry's Best, but I'll save you the boredom of having to read through it. Let it just be said that ESPN is going to find it impossible to replace Barry and I'll be rooting for the Ning for as long as he presides over their bench.
So, let us raise a glass (or a beer mug) to Barry Melrose and celebrate some of his personal Barry's Best.
Video (and news of Barry's hiring) courtesy of Awful Announcing via ESPN.
Loyal CBSVG readers and newfound fans Googling "euro 2008 chicks" who happen across this humble blog, it is time for your voices to be heard. A little back story before we get to the user participation part: this year, I made a wager with the Dr. GF on who would do better with their NCAA Basketball Tourney picks, the stakes being a dinner made for the winner by the loser. Suffice to say, I lost. And now she is ready to cash in.
So I could just throw some ingredients in a bowl and call it "supper" but that isn't my style. I'd like to incorporate various aspects of what is important in my life to the meal. So behold: the Euro 2008 dinner poll! Her victory feast will be a celebration of the four remaining teams in the tourney, with four separate signature options from the countries still vying for the title. It's up to the readers to decide what I make. The meal with the most votes by the end of Tuesday will be crowned winner and made by yours truly. Dinner is in your hands. If you don't fuck it up, I most certainly will.
It's been a great tournament so far and one of my dark horses- Turkey- is still in the running. So host up that glass of chilled goat's blood and drink deep from my cup of soccer prognostication.
Quarterfinals
Portugal vs Germany - Great way to start off the QFs. It's Portuguese flair/pussybitchness vs German efficiency/ruthless use of gas chambers. Unfortunately, this might be the one time that flair beats out gas chambers. Too much talent on the Portuguese side as they top a rather mundane Deutschland by the score of 2-1. Goals from Ronaldo and Simao bookend a Miroslav Klose effort.
Croatia vs Turkey - Can the Turkish roller coaster of emotions continue? Sure, why the hell not? Who cares if they might be missing seven players come Friday and that they are playing a Croatian side that only conceded once in the group stages. I say that this party continues. Final score: Turkey 1, Croatia 1...Turkey wins in a penalty shootout.
Netherlands vs Russia - Netherlands, Holland, Orange Gods, whatever you want to call them, they have been hands down the best team in the tournament. That will continue against a plucky Russian squad that just doesn't know how to quit, or say no to sweet, smooth vodka. Look for Holland to roll in this one, to the tune of 3-0.
Spain vs Italy - Poor Spain. They top their group and look at the reward: a match against the reigning World Champions. Italian mystique (or cheating, if you will) will not be able to hold down the lethal striking partnership of David Villa and Fernando Torres. Spaniards clip up the Azzurri late thanks to a Nando goal, 2-1.
Enjoy the Quarters and check back here for a Semis preview. Unless of course all the teams I just picked to win happen to lose. Then don't bother showing up. I'll be on the run from bookies looking to break my kneecaps.
Remember the old "Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" advertising campaign? It featured people back at home following a zany Las Vegas adventure trying to avoid discussing the amazing, yet slightly embarrassing, experience in Sin City. It was pretty dumb. If the whole point of your city is to try to get people to come and lose all inhibitions, why would you not want to broadcast that? It's fucking Vegas. It's not like people don't know that people go f'ing bonkers there. Want an example? Here is a whole list of shit that just happened to me and/or my friends while we were there over the weekend. The identities of my assclown buddies have been hidden to protect them from their idiocy. This happened in Vegas:
Thousands of dollars were won and lost playing blackjack
Hundreds of dollars were won playing craps
Hundreds of dollars were lost buying multiple bottles of vodka
Multiple hours were spent drinking heavily at a topless beach
At said topless beach, a private cabana was given to us
At said cabana, over a thousand dollars were spent on Bud Light alone
Chicks were invited to said cabana and removed their tops
Breakfast and dinner buffets were consumed
Strip clubs were visited until 7am
Gentlemen were passed out by 7pm
A drunken woman was witnessed having sex with an intoxicated man in a crowded hot tub, surrounded by a couple hundred people
The same woman was seen vomiting and removed from the premises in a wheelchair
Girls were taught how to give lap dances, then immediately showcased what they had learned
Panties were removed and handed out to gentlemen
The words "You are making me so wet...Feel..." were said to gentlemen, along with "You are so big, just stick in one finger."
For those who were there, please feel free to add something in the comments section. Hell of a weekend.
The repercussions of binge drinking, sleep deprivation and a red-eye flight have rendered me useless. For those looking for a Las Vegas recap, a day of recovery is needed before commenting on the most ridiculous weekend in human history.
Check back soon to see the full details. In the meantime, enjoy some of the links to the right.
Sorry, Group D. You're going to get the shaft here. That's what happens when you are the final group to start play and it's 800 degrees in the Fletchinator Dungeon of Sorrows and I can't bare the thought of moving or formulating interesting posts. So instead, you will get a quick gloss over while I'm at work. No hard feelings, it's just that those are the breaks sometimes. Because I actually should be working right now, this is going to be short and sweet.
Greece - The defending champs will try to prove that their victory in 2004 was no fluke. Unfortunately for them, it was and everyone knows it. Greece's reign of terror will come to a horrible end this tournament.
Russia - Only by the grace of England sucking at soccer did the Ruskies make it into the tourney. Their leading scorer in qualifying is not on the final roster and one has to wonder, "Can this team make an impact?" Guus Hiddink would argue with a resounding "Yes." This dude works wonders as a coach. I'm not sure if spikes his players drinking water with speed or brings in free prostitutes to raise confidence, but Hiddink's track record of elevating second-tier clubs is astounding. I wish he was my life coach. I would be running this dojo in no time if he was.
Those niceties aside, I still think the Russians are going to come up a little short.
Spain - Without England or Scotland in the tourney, Spain has become my surrogate squad. With the Liverpool influence on this squad, how could it not be? Nando Torres is in the form of his life. He can carve tunnels in mountains with his blistering shot and create wind from his remarkable pace to spin the wind turbines that power the western part of the United States. If necessary, he could play this tournament 1 vs 11, but luckily he doesn't have to; he has a team of players around him more than capable of picking up the slack if he is felled by a kryptonite bullet. Cesc Fabregas, David Villa and a host of other outstanding talent will pick up Nando should he falter, which of course is a strictly hypothetical situation and will not in any way, shape or form happen in this competition.
So what does this all mean for the Spaniards? It means that I think they are going to win Euro 2008! Good news for them, as I've never once correctly picked anything in my life. Spain fans, send hate mail to:
The Fletchinator 69 Fletchinator Dungeon of Sorrows Way Suite: Fletchinator Dungeon of Sorrows The Internets, USA
Sweden: Group D boasts two of my favorite strikers in the world: the aforementioned Nando and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Unfortunately, Zlat doesn't seem to score for Sweden, which is a big problem for his country. So big that old man Henrik Larsson has been drafted back into the squad to add some potency up front. I hope it helps, as this is my other sleeper team (first choice Turkey is not off to a great start).
My prediction for the group: Spain advances as the winners, with Sweden in second place. Russia and Greece will travel back to their homelands in search of answers. And alcohol. Strong alcohol.
Here's the Group C preview, aka "The Group of Death" or as I like to call it "The Group of Death." This group is so stacked that the totem pole I keep in the Fletchinator Dungeon of Sorrows is starting to feel inadequate.
France - The World Cup runners up will get a chance for revenge in this group as they square off against Italy in the final group match. But to make sure that game means something, they are must navigate two difficult tests in Romania and Holland. Can they do it? They certainly have the players to make it happen. But their headbutting catalyst of previous tournaments, Zinedane Zidane, is off tanning his bald spot in the French Riviera, while Les Bleus toil in Switztria (combination of Switzerland and Austria). Samir Nasri has been heralded as the next coming of Zizou, but I'm not sure he is ready to step up to the challenge. If he isn't ready to carry the torch, then the French could be in trouble. My gut is telling me that they aren't getting out of the group stages. My gut is huge. I like to listen to it.
Forget everything you know about Thierry Henry and Nicolas Anelka, this tournament belongs to Karim Benzema. The striking starlet is ready to blow up on the world stage, even if the team falters behind him. My prediction is he scores four goals in the group stages, then enters in protracted transfer talks with all the big clubs in Europe and starts nailing an unbelievably hot chick. Not bad for someone who wouldn't be able to purchase alcohol in the United States.
Player to Watch - You guessed it: Benzema. All hail the new king!
Hot Chick - Jennifer Lamiraqui makes me feel kind of funny...like when I smothered that hooker with a pillow.
Italy - The World Champs look to add another major tournament to their trophy case and gosh darn, they have a good shot of getting it done. Even without Nesta and Cannavaro they are just so f'ing solid up the middle. Buffon, Pirlo, De Rossi, Gattuso. The spine of this team is as strong as a g'd steel beam. It should be no great surprise that this is one of the pre-tourney favorites. Annoying, yes, but an undeniable fact. Just be patient; soon enough, Italian soccer will be so rife with corruption and scandal that there will be no national team and some other countries will get a chance to win something once in a while.
The only thing stopping the Italians is the group they play in. If they fail to beat the Dutch in the first game, it could be a quick tourney for the Azzuri. Which would mean that the taxi driver in Montreal who gave me a ride the other day would be extremely disappointed. That talkative m'fer would not leave me alone. So out of spite, I'm rooting openly against the Italians. Ha. Little do they realize how powerful an enemy I can be. My list of influential contacts stretches from one side of the European continent to the next. Ignore me and risk complete and utter annihilation.
Player to Watch - Depending on how the team lines up, Antonio Cassano might not get a lot of playing time this tournament. Which is a shame because as good as he is at soccer, the dude is certifiably bat shit crazy. To wit:
Hot Chick - Sadly, Francesco Totti will not be playing for the Azzuri. But that doesn't mean we can't ogle his wife. Do yourself a favor and search for Ilary Blasi with the Google safe filter off. Good times.
The Netherlands - The Netherlands, or Holland (if you swing that way), have a lot of things going for them. First and foremost, the teams uniforms are always undoubtedly sick. I'm sure this year will be no different. Secondly, the country's name can be used for some clever wordplay around the phrase "Nether regions." Always a good time right there. Finally, they have a pretty sick team to boot.
For some reason, I see this team doing some damage in the tourney. The are understandably behind Italy and France in the prognosticators picks to get out of the group, but I think they are going to shock some people, most importantly the French. Every game in this group is vital and I like the Dutch character. I have no evidence to back that up, but I've got that feeling that this team is going to go places. If only I could express that in a montage. Then people would understand what I was talking about.
With Robben, Sneijder and Van der Vaart, the Netherlands probably possess the most gifted midfield in the competition. Whether or not they can all handle playing at once remains to be seen, but expect fireworks if this troika can put it together on the pitch. If Van Persie's vagina mends in time for the group stages, then expect to see this team in the final eight.
Player to Watch - There so many skilled players here its tough to pick out one PtW. So how about we watch a death match montage between Sneijder and Van der Vaart.
Hot Chick - MTV Europe personality and wife of Rafael Van der Vaart, Sylvie VdV. Romania - It's the first major tourney for the Romanians since 2000, so it's been a while since they've been in the spotlight. One of the byproducts of that relative anonymity is that outside of their biggest stars, no one really knows what to expect. Being saddled in the group of death has not done them any favors. It's going to be a huge challenge for them to advance and most would predict that it is three and out for the Romanians. I'm one of those people in that camp. Come sit by the campfire and I'll spin you a yarn.
The big gun for Romania, Adrian Mutu, is probably best known for his suspension from the game for six months after testing positive for cocaine. The reason Mutu gave for dusting his nose: it helped ease his sexual inadequacies. Hmm. Pretty embarrassing stuff right there. Maybe want to lay off the blow, Adrian, just in case you get busted and have to admit why you're are sniffing nose sugar. Of course, it signaled the end of his Chelsea career. But he landed on his feet back in Italy and has been lighting it up at Fiorentina (v2). Romania's chances lie with Mutu. Even his best efforts probably won't be enough for the team to navigate out of the Group of Death's rough waters.
Player to Watch - Since the last paragraph was entirely about Mutu, he should probably be Romania's PtW.
Hot Chick - Holy shit, Alina Vacariu is smoldering. We need to set up a Hot Chick best of the best at the end of the tourney.
No need for any flowery intros here, time to get to Group B.
Austria - Go home, Austria! You're not welcome here! That must be what English and Scottish fans must be shouting while they destroy property back in their homelands. Austria, most likely the worst team ever to appear in a Euro tournament, were saved the humiliation of not qualifying for the event because as one of the host nations, they get an automatic bid. Which might not be a good thing. Austrian citizens are so terrified that their team is going to disgrace the country that petitions were signed to have them removed from the competition. Here is that groups motto: It cannot be denied: the performance of the Austrian team is an insult to your sense of aesthetics as well as to what you expect from this sport. Their participating in Euro 2008 is to you a contradiction in itself. Unmercifully, those shouts for leniency were not heard and the team must play three games and hope to not get completely destroyed.
To put it kindly, this team sucks llama balls. They are undoubtedly one of the worst teams on the European continent and have a roster that would struggle to a second rate American team. Step up, Darien Dogs. Let's see what you got. Take down Austria and immortality is yours. This team has no shot of the 2nd round and will be lucky if they clip a draw along the way. I'd like to consider myself somewhat of a knowledgeable soccer follower and I've heard of 3 players on this team: Pogatetz, Manninger and Macho. I know the first two from their time in England and the third because Macho is an awesome last name. At least the team won't have a long trip back to their families after being eliminated.
Player to Watch - Ummm, not even going to bother...Here is everything you need to know: a video featuring Austria losing to international superpower Canada in 2006.
Hot Chick - What Austria lacks in soccer quality, they make up for it in attractive women, evidenced below by the lovely Silvia Hackl.
Croatia - Try walking into an English pub this summer wearing an Croatia jersey, you know the really ugly red and white checkered one, and see what happens. You will be lucky to escape with four limbs still attached to your torso. The demise of the English team cannot be placed solely on the shoulders of the Croats, but if fans of the Three Lions want to take their frustration out on someone besides their own players, it probably would be directed at Croatia. No worries, though. Croatia would gladly absorb some British abuse and still be in Euro 2008 than the other way around, because as Croats, they are used to taking a shit load of abuse. I have no evidence to back up that claim, but it just seems to be a fitting description.
The big question for the team heading into the competition is how much they will miss Brazilian expat Eduardo, the team's leading scorer in qualification. His 10 goals helped paved the way for British misery this summer, but in a display of righteous karma, he also will be in misery as he watches his compatriots do battle without him, thanks to a horrific leg break earlier in the spring. Those are the breaks (pun intended), kiddo.
With a solid defense and an experienced midfield, Croatia should pip Poland for the runners up spot in the group. The Kovac brothers are back for another tourney and Nico Kranjcar will infuse the team with much needed flair. The one player destined to draw a lot of attention is Luca Modric. After having his bags packed for Newcastle, plans changed last minute and he ended up signing with Tottenham, almost to his own disbelief. Something shady happened here that hasn't been brought to light yet, I reckon. A big money transfer is always going to attract eyeballs and Modric should be prepared to put on a show.
Player to Watch - Luca Modric. See above paragraph for the details.
Hot Chick - As you can probably tell by her underwear, this is Nina Moric, and with apologies to Slobodan Milosevic, the hottest things to come out of Croatia, ever.
Germany - The clear cut favorite to win the group and one of the handful of teams to have the ability to take the championships, it's old hat from the Germans this year. Basically this is the same team that finished third in the last World Cup. I see no reason why they can't do as well this time around. Covering Germany's ruthless efficiency is just getting boring. They are fucking good every year. I'm starting to think that they are a team of robots sent back in time to belittle other countries soccer accomplishments.
Their roster reads like a who's who of big time players who shine on the biggest stages. Perhaps you're familiar with Michael Ballack? Does the name Miroslav Klose ring a bell? Oh don't forget about Lukas Podolski and Philip Lahm. Damn this team is stacked. Even with Crazy Jens in goal, this team should cruise, like a finely tuned BMW, into the later stages of the tourney. I'd love to see Crazy Jens lose his shit at some point and with the new balls causing quite a stir, there's a 50% chance of that happening. Good times on the horizon.
Player to Watch - If you haven't heard of Mario Gomez before the tourney, I guarantee you will know who he is after. Observe:
Hot Chick - To go along with a powerhouse team, we need a powerhouse hot chick. Gentleman, behold: Heidi Klum. Poland - What is it with these Eastern European teams? I don't know any of the players or even know how to pronounce their names. Ugh. It's frustrating. And I sure as flaming heck don't like spelling Wawrzyniak over and over again. Any country that runs a picture of a decapitated Michael Ballack in one of its newspapers is okay in my book. As a big proponent of freedom of the press, I commend you, Poland. As your reward, I won't throw out a hackneyed "dumb Pollock" joke. You can thank me later with the finest meats and cheeses from your land.
This team is only going to go as far as Artur Boruc carries them. The Celtic keeper is one of the better keepers in Europe, even if he isn't well known out of Poland and Scotland. I will give him his due. As for the outfield players, to be honest, your guess is as good as mine. I don't think they can beat Croatia, so I think it will be difficult for them to advance. But stranger things have happened, like the time I had a dream about shooting Danny DeVito in the face with a shotgun. That was a tough image to shake.
Player to Watch - Seeing as how I'm only familiar with the team's goalies and maybe one or two other players, let's go with one of the goalies. Step up, Mr. Boruc.
Hot Chick - Joanna Krupa fits the bill quite nicely. Group A kicks off on Saturday, so enjoy the tournament everybody. The Group C preview should follow the first day's action.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, troglodytic cave dwellers with Internet and cable access...Rejoice! For we stand on the precipice of a great cultural event: Euro 2008! Hail to the soccer gods and the football deities. Pray to your pagan high spirits and your totemic artifacts. The time has come for a great international tournament with acts of athleticism so inspirational that reporters will run out of superlatives to describe the greatness before them. There will be WAGs as far as the eye can see. I tell you, it will be a little slice of heaven, spread out among multiple venues in Switzerland and Austria. Life makes sense again in just under four days.
No doubt, after reading that awe inspiring intro, that the reader of this lowly blog will be salivating at the prospect of a month long treasure trove meaningful soccer (sorry, I'm an American) in glorious HD. Better yet, the tourney is on ESPN so there will be no need to hand over the $100+ that it cost to buy Euro 2004 on pay per view. The Worldwide Leader just earned a free pass in my book for a couple of months or at least until Joe Morgan features in the press box for a meaningful game.
Worried that the tourney is about to start and you are left woefully in the dark about the teams and players. Worry not, loyal reader, for over the next four to five days, this blog will feature a quick and tidy preview of each group. Each glimpse will provide a little background on the squad, a player to watch video and a picture of a hot chick from said country. Seems about right to me.
Because I'm a stickler for rules, we start with Group A.
Czech Republic - I loved the Czech Republic in 2004. With Nedved, Poborsky, Milan Baros playing out of his mind and Praha's version of Peter Crouch, Jan Koller, scoring left and right, this team played attractive, flowing football with such verve that Arsene Wenger was envious. Subtract Nedved and Poborsky from midfield, scratch Rosicky (out injured) and the flair that captivated the heart of one North American recent college grad is no longer there.
But let's not discount the quality that still remains. Koller, a giant at 6'8" still scores with regularity, somewhat inexplicably given that he is 35 years old, going on 78. Ignore his 54 international goals at your own peril. I like Tomas Sivok. He always was a standout performer on my Football Manager teams. Whether or not he makes an impact remains to be seen but my beer-filled gut is telling me that he will turn a head or two.
Player to Watch - Petr Cech. One of the best goalies in the world and probably capable of single-handedly carrying this team to the knockout stages.
Hot Chick - Meet Radka Kocurova. Tomas Rosicky's WAG. Apparently, she likes lettuce.
Portugal - Prepare for a summer of incessant C. Ronaldo "will he stay or go" rumors. Great. Can't wait for that. Shoot me now please. It's bad enough that I will have to endure countless step-over montages and outrageous dives, now every time I check the BBC rumor page I'm bombarded with Ronaldo bullshit. Enough already. Jesus, I'm getting pissed just writing about it.
Luckily for Portugal, it's a team game, and even if C-Ron is off pouting somewhere there is more than enough talent here to make a deep run in the competition. Beaten finalists in the last Euro, the Portuguese have to be considered favorites to take this group, even without former stalwart Figo on the squad. Standouts (outside of C-Ron) include: Ricardo Carvalho, Miguel, Deco, Nani, Simao and hopefully Liverpool bound Quaresma. They also have a goalie named Quim, which according to Dictionary.com means: a vagina or vulva. Leave it to the Portuguese to pick a name synonymous with pussy.
The one thing that worries me about the squad is their lack of a great striker. Nuno Gomes is a poor man's Pauleta and that in itself is not a ringing endorsement. It might not matter with the midfield firepower they posses but something to watch during the group stages.
Player to Watch - Fuck you for thinking I was going to put Ronaldo here. I wish a terrible knee injury upon him. Instead, please familiarize yourself with Ricardo Quaresma, who might be terrorizing Prem defenses and delighting the Anfield faithful next season (please make this happen, God).
Hot Chick - Merche Romero, former WAG of C. Ron, now just a hot little biddy.
Switzerland - Host nation alert! Host nation alert! Can the Swiss bottle the patriotic support of the homeland and make an improbable run to the later stages of the tournament? In a word: F'no. That's a combination of "Fuck" and "No," done out of necessity because of my self-imposed one word limit. Sorry Swiss. Time to get your mind off of soccer and focus on what is important: laying off thousands upon thousands of UBS employees.
The Swiss carry a roster of very few standouts. There are no superstars here and only a couple of household names. Philippe Senderos is perhaps the most notable player and he is only well known because he is a mediocre player at one of the world's most popular clubs, Arsenal. For the die-hards out there, names like Hakan Yakin and Alexander Frei mean something, but not much. This squad is devoid of any interesting characteristics. Switzerland made it out of the group stages at the 2006 World Cup, but I can't see that happening this time around. It's three and out for 1/2 of the hosts.
Player to Watch - Alexander Frei. YouTube is not chock full of Swiss highlight reels, so this is the best that I could find. If the team hopes to progress, Cpt. Frei is going to have to have the tourney of his life.
Hot Chick - The Miss Swiss herself Christa Rigozzi. Turkey - The Turks are an intriguing team. On paper, they don't look that impressive. But underestimate these Ottoman descendants and you're likely to get a kilij to the face. While it will be a struggle for Turkey to make it out of the group stages, don't be surprised if they sneak up on teams in this group. I'm putting the Czech Republic on upset alert against Turkey. And I'm also stamping my "Dark Horse" seal on this squad. What does that actually mean? I'm not telling until I see how far Turkey goes.
Fans of the beautiful game will recognize some big names on Turkey: B. Emre, H. Altintop, Tuncay and Nihat are all fairly well known around the continent. The success of this team depends on the players who are still playing in their homeland with very little outside exposure. They might be huge in the Istanbul tabloids but I couldn't tell you the difference between Ugur Boral and Gokhan Zan if one of them jumped up and offered me the sweetest Turkish hashish known to man. If the unknown players step up and make a name for themselves, look out...this team will be dangerous.
Player to Watch - Belozoglu Emre. Shaftedat Newcastle, this diminutive playmaker will be the straw that stirs the Turks drink of choice: chilled goat's blood.
Hot Chick - This one is a bit of a stretch, but since it's hard to find really attractive chicks from Turkey on the Internet without sifting through page upon page of porn, we are going with Sebnem Schaefer, a half-Turkish/half-German, revolver toting TLP.
