Euro 2008 Quad Preview - Part 4

Sorry, Group D. You're going to get the shaft here. That's what happens when you are the final group to start play and it's 800 degrees in the Fletchinator Dungeon of Sorrows and I can't bare the thought of moving or formulating interesting posts. So instead, you will get a quick gloss over while I'm at work. No hard feelings, it's just that those are the breaks sometimes. Because I actually should be working right now, this is going to be short and sweet.

Greece - The defending champs will try to prove that their victory in 2004 was no fluke. Unfortunately for them, it was and everyone knows it. Greece's reign of terror will come to a horrible end this tournament.

Russia - Only by the grace of England sucking at soccer did the Ruskies make it into the tourney. Their leading scorer in qualifying is not on the final roster and one has to wonder, "Can this team make an impact?" Guus Hiddink would argue with a resounding "Yes." This dude works wonders as a coach. I'm not sure if spikes his players drinking water with speed or brings in free prostitutes to raise confidence, but Hiddink's track record of elevating second-tier clubs is astounding. I wish he was my life coach. I would be running this dojo in no time if he was.

Those niceties aside, I still think the Russians are going to come up a little short.

Spain - Without England or Scotland in the tourney, Spain has become my surrogate squad. With the Liverpool influence on this squad, how could it not be? Nando Torres is in the form of his life. He can carve tunnels in mountains with his blistering shot and create wind from his remarkable pace to spin the wind turbines that power the western part of the United States. If necessary, he could play this tournament 1 vs 11, but luckily he doesn't have to; he has a team of players around him more than capable of picking up the slack if he is felled by a kryptonite bullet. Cesc Fabregas, David Villa and a host of other outstanding talent will pick up Nando should he falter, which of course is a strictly hypothetical situation and will not in any way, shape or form happen in this competition.

So what does this all mean for the Spaniards? It means that I think they are going to win Euro 2008! Good news for them, as I've never once correctly picked anything in my life. Spain fans, send hate mail to:

The Fletchinator
69 Fletchinator Dungeon of Sorrows Way
Suite: Fletchinator Dungeon of Sorrows
The Internets, USA

Sweden: Group D boasts two of my favorite strikers in the world: the aforementioned Nando and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Unfortunately, Zlat doesn't seem to score for Sweden, which is a big problem for his country. So big that old man Henrik Larsson has been drafted back into the squad to add some potency up front. I hope it helps, as this is my other sleeper team (first choice Turkey is not off to a great start).

My prediction for the group: Spain advances as the winners, with Sweden in second place. Russia and Greece will travel back to their homelands in search of answers. And alcohol. Strong alcohol.