The 1st Annual People I Wish Death Upon List

Hate is a strong word.  So is loathe.  But sometimes potent one word insults are not enough.  That's when I turn to the 'Disdain Scale.'

There are many levels to the Disdain Scale.  At one end of the spectrum there is the 'I really can't stand you' sentiment.  At the opposite pole, you will find some pretty vicious stuff.  But nothing trumps 'I want you to die.  I wish an extremely painful and agonizing death upon you.  When you die, I will feel no remorse, only joy.'  

Does it make me a bad person to feel that way towards some people?  Actually yes, yes it does.  But you only live once and it's my God given right to fucking hate some douches.  

So here it is, the first annual list of people I want to die.  The amazing thing is, that I'm generally a fairly magnanimous person so it takes quite a bit to piss me off.  The following people have done that and more.

1) Cristiano Ronaldo

What can I say about this asshole that hasn't been said already?  He is egotistical, he is arrogant, he is so fucking good it makes me sick to my stomach and he knows it.  He dives and has the audacity to cry about it when referees don't call a foul.  I literally mean that he cries.  Tears stream down his cheeks as he pouts his way down the field.  Often you will find Ronaldo staring into the crowd, searching for a goat's teat to suckle, as he was not properly weaned from his mother's bosom.

So we know he is a dick on the field.  What about off of it?

Well, he cheated on Gemma Atkinson with a prostitute.  Haven't heard of Ms. Atkinson?  Here is a snapshot: 

Just to clarify: C-Ron paid for sex when this was readily available to him.  That alone is disgraceful.  Couple that with his childish behavior on the pitch and you can understand why he is the number one person I wish death upon each night before I go to bed.  It is always a cruel blow to my psyche when I check the news every morning and see that he is still among the living.  Oh well, so it goes...

2) Bandwagon Red Sox Fans

I will defer to Urban Dictionary on this one: 

"5% of red sox fans as of 2005. made up of mostly fat, irish, red faced women and scrawny white homeboys who will wear their 2004 world championship tilted to the side like a god damn monkey while their over sized manny jerseys will hang all the way down to their knees. 10 years ago these bandwagoners didn't have to suffer watching mo vaughn gain 300 pounds, jose offerman trot around the bases like he was a in beer softball league, or mark portugal tripping over his own feet while pitching off the mound in almost every god damn start. But now they feel like true fans because they can name 3 players on the team."

For some reason Red Sox Nation remains completely ignorant of this phenomenon.  No wonder why they are the most universally reviled group of fans.  You can go ahead and die now.

3) Whoever is dating ScarJo

You can't hide from me, Ryan Reynolds.  I see you there, hiding behind your beard and under your chapeau.  Don't think I don't know what's going on; I'm on to you.  Just watch your back.  That's all I'm going to say; watch your back.  

That's the list.  Like I said, I'm a pretty friendly guy and for the most part, I'm not out looking to make enemies.  But once you are on this list, you might as well pull up a chair and get comfy because you are on it for the long haul, unless a large cash donation happens to find its way into my hands.  

Make sure to check back in '09 to see who will be joining this cursed list of people.  Or don't and risk winding up here.  Your choice.